This is probably Nicolas Cage at his craziest and that’s saying something. Cage is a delusional misogynist who thinks he is becoming a vampire. It’s interesting to watch because I almost get the sense that the book it’s based off of isn’t as shallow of material as the film is. There’s multiple occasion such as … Continue reading Vampire’s Kiss (K Day 2020)
I finally watched the movies everyone made a big deal out of… it was mediocre. Certainly, an engaging and gripping character piece that was enlightening towards societal abandonment of the abnormal and the underlying unapathetic cruelty that plagues us all to some degree. Despite that it just doesn’t demonstrate enough depth in storytelling that the … Continue reading Joker (K Day 2020)
Today’s episode we’re going to learn about bridges…and the best way to burn them. Lately I’ve been battling my greatest rivals: ENG/LIT Struggles and a growing inferiority complex to literally everyone on the planet who not only can draw a better Sailor Moon then I can…but has decided to make sure I know about it! … Continue reading I’m Going to Join My Greatest Rival?
Concessions Confession: The Invisible Guest is everything you’d want in a mystery thriller, full of twists, deception, and tantalizing crime. Following the contemporary thriller format of misdirection and making the ‘mystery’ itself what needs to be solve; The Invisible Guest might take its trickery too far but never stops being engaging. Log Line: Spanish businessman … Continue reading The Invisible Guest (REVIEW)
In a nutshell: Scoob! ultimately lacks identity and constantly grapples with what to be. A barrage of homage to a beloved franchise while simultaneously showing no interest in the characters, mysteries, or heart that made it a classic to begin with. Shaggy and Scooby-Doo go on a modern adventure which apparently means joining up with … Continue reading Scoob! Just Doesn’t Scooby-Doo it for Me!
This is a review of the script Pandamonium and a document of my descent into madness trying to rationalize it. It is heavily encouraged you start with part 1. Thank you. A Wild Plot Appears! Synopsis: However, when Molly calls her mom it appears as though the wish did not work. Billy fears that he’ll … Continue reading I Have a Mental Breakdown – Pandamonium (FINALE)
A film that demonstrates a rich dichotomy between ideological differences can be considered as old as film itself. Yet, international director Fernando Meirelles (City of God, Blindness) delivers with his recent film The Two Popes in constructing the perfect paradox of a film that feels entirely timeless as well as crucially contemporary.
How’s this for a cold open: Kiki’s Delivery Service has an astounding 97% on the good old Rotten Tomatoes. It has one rotten review that has it at a 2/4. This one negative review is from certainly an interesting critic; look no further than their 2016 Best & Worst Films. The same year that: Zootopia, … Continue reading Kiki’s Delivery Service – A Taste of Something Familiar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77sS5IuR0Gs Why are we still here, just to suffer? Should I really be surprised that someone who thinks The Rise of Skywalker is a 10/10 hates this movie. As much as I love to ham up my frustrations, I do see why discontent for this film exists. On the surface, The Lighthouse is a film … Continue reading The Lighthouse is a Film About…Nothing?
I mean it’s only February so it might be too early for this but having vaguely positive remarks about Sonic the Hedgehog might be the most surprising review I write this year. Sonic the Hedgehog to me has just become this unruly beast of inherent cringe but it’s that reputation that has almost made the … Continue reading Sonic The Hedgehog Movie: Chaos Controlled?
I write about movies, therefore I am by law supposed to tell you who I think is going to win a toned-physique golden bald guy. This breaks a lot of the rules I roll by here, I don't like doing things because it's trendy and I don't like discussing things if I am ill-informed. If … Continue reading Spoiling The Oscars with Accurate Predictions – K’s Oscar Party
"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."-Oscar Wilde I have this residing tinge of guilt, not caused by my actions but as consequence of my inaction. The truth is, in regard to fairness I have found myself unimaginably fortunate. It really is taken … Continue reading A Silent Voice That Needs to be Heard
We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered the line from the old Clone Wars, Grievous is trying to persuade Kenobi that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes his multi-armed form and says, “Now I am … Continue reading The Rise of Skywalker: A Desperate Plea For Attention
Knives Out is a movie, and I saw it, and I recommend seeing it, I guess? Rian Johnson’s Whodunit murder mystery features an eccentric family and their fancy estate gained from the twisted murderous tales of Harlan Thrombey suddenly find themselves living in such a tale. A star-studded cast, a convoluted yet indulging mystery, and … Continue reading Twisting The Knife? Knives Out Review
The Villain of Frozen II After the great bamboozle that was Hans Christian Anderson being the villain of his own story, Frozen II figured there was only one twist that could top that…. there being no antagonist at all. The lurking evil wasn’t some mystical magical forest entity or some cosmic event. The real evil … Continue reading Frozen II: The Big Review (Part II)
Frozen II is the most confused I’ve been at the movies all year, and it’s an odd beast to tango with. It is not a bad film by any means (I guess), but it also has me wondering “how did you fuck up this badly” (and with that line we are no longer family friendly, … Continue reading Frozen II: The Big Review
Doctor Sleep, maybe more like Doctor puts me to Sleep; maybe more like Doctor I Can’t Sleep That Child Torture Scene is Pretty Intense. Doctor Sleep is the third Stephen King cocaine induced fever dream turned into a theatrical release this year and this one is very fascinating to me. I feel it is appropriate … Continue reading My ‘Doctor Sleep’ Drinking Games Will Kill You!
Good evening, weary traveler. Welcome to my planet, and hopefully your first stop on a journey through the cosmos. I’ll be your friendly navigator for the Space is the Place expedition and help you find out where to go. First, you’re probably wondering how I got in this situation…. how does one go from a … Continue reading Expelled From Paradise (Review) [Space is the Place]
Is 80’s slashers the theme of the summer, my attempt to cash in on the nostalgia more shameless than New Coke… maybe not after this one. Final Exam is a neutered slasher that can be described in one word… BORING! Spend time with this cast of characters more notable by the unfunny nicknames I give … Continue reading Final Exam (1981) Review
Two posts in a row with the same format, looks like Hollywood isn't the only losings it's creativity. Well, decided I had to post some good old simple movie reviews; movies is in the name and I don't like feeling like I'm false advertising. You know what you came for let's get into it. The … Continue reading The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Red Box Rentals
Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Vile Ted Bundy is what I think is the title of the Netflix movie everyone is talking about at the time of writing this. I’ve heard mixed responses on the film mostly pertaining to how the film has chosen to portray Ted Bundy through the perspective … Continue reading The Sympathetic Killer
Preface: I don't like to stir the pot but I mean just look at that title. It was too fun to pass up the opportunity to write that. I feel it necessary to warn you all that there is something truly terrifying that I will be discussing today, and it is something that may have … Continue reading A Critic’s Critique of the Critics’ Critic: Are You Allowed to Say Endgame is Bad?
So, I just saw Avengers: Endgame and while my review style is to be somewhat interpretative to allow you to weigh my criticisms and praises to reflect on your own... but there are no opinions when it comes to this movie… only facts. The fact is this is the greatest film in all of existence. … Continue reading Epic Endgame Review
Just what an ugly mug. There's no beating around the bush, Sonic is ugly. I'm sorry society is so shallow that we have to judge this real gangsta by the artificial nature of his looks. Do you think Sonic asked to be this ugly, like he went up to the CGI animators like it was … Continue reading I Fixed Sonic the Hedgehog… What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Jordan Peele's Doppelganger thriller has already proven itself both a commercial and critical success and in instances like this I would let the massive wave of other critics sing the same praises I had and consider my own input unnecessary. However, if I had to describe Us in one word it would be a toss … Continue reading I Don’t Understand All the Fuss About ‘Us’
https://youtu.be/7goumTeBABw Carnival of Souls is best summarized as weird, cheap, but not lacking passion... I only hope I did it justice. I'd be lying if I said I was 100% glad how this review turned out, apologizes for lackluster efforts in terms of sound mixing and making the video entertaining but I think it certainly … Continue reading Geeks, Freaks, and Automobiles! Carnival of Souls Review
When I think of a truly terrifying movie watching experience, I think of The Babyface Murders. While other films have gratuitous jump scares, unsettling imagery, and frightful atmospheric tension.... well all of that is Teletubbies compared to The Babyface Murders. What makes this movie so scary you may ask? Quite Frankly, I did not know … Continue reading Now This is Scary?
A little late but I've finally gotten around to watching the most compelling horror film of 2018, Hereditary. Hereditary is held together by strong performances from Toni Collette and first time feature director Ari Aster shows an impressive willingness to explore his medium and craft as a filmmaker. So with a seemingly weaker year in … Continue reading Is ‘Hereditary’ Oscar Worthy?
Come one, come all it's time to spin the Netflix Wheel. As I teased in my prior post, I am using the Reelgood website which is a quick and easy way to get randomized Netflix flicks to watch. So this is what happened after I took three spins of the wheel. (This post was my … Continue reading Netflix Roulette
The tagline for City of God is captivating for those uninitiated, but a loaded statement to reflect upon after viewing. “If you run, the beast catches you; if you stay,the beast eats you” the tag iterates how fated circumstances constructed by environment and attitude will inevitable cause demise. The chicken that darts across the streets … Continue reading Finding Your Way in the ‘City of God’