Concessions Confessions: After what I have witnessed…. I’m starting to think that Oedipus guy had the right idea.

Logline: Tik Tok star Addison Rae is featured in the Netflix remake of She’s All That and the end product feels like it should constitute as capitol punishment.

In fairness I thought I knew what I was getting into when I decided to watch this for shits and giggles. This is another trashy teen movie in the same vein of The Kissing Booth. This however, is just insulting and there’s really nothing to appreciate outside of a cameo appearance from Mathew Lillard. I would argue that outside of literal scams, movies such as The Little Panda Fighter or Space Babies I have never seen a film production feel so unapologetically lazy.

I legitimately put it at 3 takes max for any shot of the movie. There’s even a lot of clearly framed scenes in which the actors aren’t even in the same country let only the same room. Everything about this movie just tells me that they tried to get it done as soon as possible and that nobody even cared to be there. I can’t praise anything about this movie, like what? Congratulations you pushed the big red button and recorded it.

Plagiarizing Yet Still Failing

(I am describing what happens quite a bit so if you are avoiding spoilers, why what is wrong with you)

Imagine copying some else’s homework and still getting an F. That’s how the screenplay for He’s All That feels like. It’s non-sensical yet still predictable. Addison Rae gets cancelled at the beginning of the movie, and you’ll never guess why. The internet you know the place that is completely fine with James Charles attempting to elicit sex from minors, or David Dobrik for enabling rape culture or the other hundreds of creators who pretty much get away with being some of the most abhorrent and detestable people on planet Earth. There’s literally a girl on here that makes fun of people for having cancer and producing music that sounds like you put something in the microwave that you probably shouldn’t have; what did Addison do to receive such a harsh loss in audience?

I don’t know shots like this showing Addison Rae as a “mess” unintentional just shows how much of an ego she must have that she couldn’t look and more embarrassing than a smoky eye look.

Her boyfriend cheated on her. And? And what, nope that’s it. EXCUSE ME WHAT! Unfortunately Addison was a little cringe during the whole affair and got a little boogie in her nose and oh no, her career is over. This moment is terrible, she’s holding a big plate of ball desserts and I wonder if that’s going to get knocked over or thrown at someone. Such a galaxy brain I am for predicting that one, this scene is infuriating because the whole point is to show Addison Rae acting out in a way that would be whiplash for her audience. However Addison Rae can’t do that, that would require her to act and she can’t so they keep cutting away. Instead of showing us the big freak-out that everyone is reacting to they cut away to random fucking people watching it on their phones because Addison Rae can’t act in a way that is laughable bad.

Addison Rae is the shark from Jaws if you get too good of a lot at it you realize how unconvincing and unreal it is so the editors have to edit around it. That’s an unfair comparison because Bruce the animatronic shark from the 70’s is the better actor. Probably had less influence over the filming schedule as hard as that is to believe. Addison Rae can’t act, I’ll rip that Band-Aide off. Honestly, I don’t think she can do much of anything except be a clothed stripper. She shows little emotion and pretty much sleep walks through the entire movie.

He's All That': Release Date, Cast, Trailer and Plot of Remake With Addison  Rae
Look it’s a Great Gatsby party because that is about as far into literature anyone got on this production

Nobody in this film acts like a normal person. The main guy gets into a fight with her Ex-boyfriend . Yet, before engaging he sets his prize-possession vintage camera at the edge of the pool. I wonder if it is going to get wet. Too bad, he couldn’t have given the camera to his sister who was standing right next to him, or his best friend who was standing right next to him, or Addison Rae who was standing right next to him. JUST HAND SOMEONE THE DAMN, CAMERA! YOU STUPID MORON! To make this even worse he wins the fight, wins by kicking buddy in the shin twice and having him land on his back. Instead of finishing him off or getting his stuff and leaving he just stands their and waits for the Ex to get up and through his camera in the pool.

Also I guess because it is the whole point of the movie, but this is what buddy looked like before his extreme make-over. Be warned it’s a tough sight to see.

Addison Rae's 1st Movie 'He's All That': Release Date, Full Cast
EWWWW He’s absolutely disgusting. GROSS, BLEH. Middle Class, he looks so ungodly.

Speaking of none human interactions, it turns out there was a masterclass plot twist under our noses this whole time. It turns out Madison Pettis had a game plan all along and has been pulling the strings to Addison Rae’s down fall. Turns out when Addison Rae found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, Pettis kept recording because she knew that would ruin Addison Rae and make the title of Prom Queen up for grabs. That’s pretty epic, it was all a set up the entire time and then Pettis is going to out her for starting the bet to make the guy handsome. Some how this movie feels way more regressive than the original by making all the girl’s extremely petty and devoid of substance. That feels worse than a beauty transformation of let your hair down, and stop wearing glasses you ugly freak.

Finally we get to the Prom and that’s sort of where this film lost me. Everything stops and they all have dance sequence like this is Step Up 2: The Streets. Get it because Addison Rae…… she dance. I always get distracted by the background dance that has some Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure hair.

In fairness, there’s a dance scene in the original but it comes off way better. She’s All That it is just a vibe, it’s fun energetic it doesn’t really focus on anyone and more is to bring that party atmosphere to life and break some of the previous tension with characters getting loose. I can’t look at the one above and without it feeling like egomaniacs wanting to show off their talents and wow us in a very choreographed and staged way.

Addison Rae and guy meet up after Prom and I guess travel the world with their embarrassment of trust fund riches. They get matching loser tattoos because…why not it literally couldn’t make this pile of horseshit any worse. Addison Rae did throw horse shit at this guy, and it was at that moment he realized she isn’t like other girls.

Not All That

Honestly the best way I can sum up this movie is try to watch thing scene without cringing so hard that a part of your soul leaves your body. Also I would be remise if I didn’t mention that this scene ends with “Can I get some KFC to go” and pulling out a giant bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken out of nowhere. Amazing.

As much as it is hated on and a meme to a lot of the other film commentators I know, it’s time to admit that The Kissing Booth wasn’t this bad. At least Kissing Booth seemed like it was having fun, and was so invested in its own stupidity. It owned it, He’s All That is the bare minimum. Everyone involved couldn’t care less and is taking their Netflix paycheck in such a soulless fashion with eyes-glazed over.

A throwback for the true K-heads, but this reminds me of Holiday Breakup. A movie that was a vehicle for Vine Star Manion Mayonnaise to prove how very not funny she was. Jeez, even almost have to apologize to that film. Listen, Holiday Breakup is just as bad or even worse. It is more cringe, it is more groan and eye-roll worthy. At the very least watching that film it seemed like people tried, Manion was trying and put a lot of her unlikable personality in the film. There’s no effort, there’s no personality, there’s nothing here.

This movie sucks from top to bottom it is an insulting effort to make a “movie”. As clear and agreeable of an opinion the lesson in this one is that even though this garbage still has its aftertaste still in my mouth and I have to see this:

Just goes to show, there’s always a bigger fish.

8 thoughts on “He’s All That, The Movie Not So Much

    1. Haha do you, did my review remind you of the savory finger licking good chicken of Colonel Sanders fine establishment.

      I’m a be honest I don’t like bad singing, I got slightly irritated by Ride Your Wave and this was just worse much worse

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Didn’t like Ride Your Wave? I was kind of looking forward to that, the trailers looked good when I saw them at the movie theatre way back.

        Anyway, this was something lol. I’m tempted to suffer too but… maybe next time XD

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I mean I gave it a 6/10 it’s not a bad film a lot of contriviences and questionable messages to push the plot but it is a nice story with some nice moments. However I have a tendency to find most anime films underwhelming most notably Weathering with You (7/10) I’d still recommend watching it, nothing special but wave is still a nice story.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I mean obviously I don’t speak for everyone and people have different tastes but it really is more Tik Tok person makes a movie set to the tune of She’s All That than feeling like a genuine attempt at a remake. Maybe that is just me but I mean I included a clip and that probably speaks volume. Yeah it’s probably not the best and you’re welcome taking bullets is what I am here for, thanks for reading always appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

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