Is there anyway to talk about the Snyder cut of The Justice League and make it short. Well I can’t, so I’m just gonna spew words out of my mouth. Sorry if this isn’t the most elegant of reviews or assessment more just reaction in text form. There be spoilers…duh.

Hack Snyder and the DC Fanboys

Well, congrats, you guys were kind of right. The Snyder cut did fix a lot of things at the very least it is a definitively better version than the theatrical cut. In fairness the Snyder Cut is the opposite of everything that is considered remotely marketable, so I understand the conflict between the studio and director.

A great example of why the studio failed comes in the fight with Superman. The trailer shows this scene taking place at night, while it was a daytime scene in the theatrical release. This is mostly because Snyder apparently wanted to film the scene at “nothing o’clock”. If you look at the scene it’s too dark to be overcast and too bright to be late afternoon, it’s lit for a time that doesn’t exist because the movie is supposed to be in black and white.

How pompous do you have to be to think that anyone wanted to watch the Justice League as an arthouse film. Actually, a lot of people, it’s become a huge ego-stroking event where you justify your over adornment for men who wear capes by pretending it means your intellectually superior.

If you don’t like Justice League than you’re just too stupid to get it! Yes the film where, Wonder Woman’s mom sacrificed like greatly over 100 people to essentially lock the door on someone she literally just witnessed magically beam down from the sky and then acted surprised when that plan didn’t work… just goes beyond my comprehension?

As much as I find the Hack Snyder vanity project is bloated and the fanboys to be obnoxious… the movie is a lot of fun, and I didn’t have a bad time. It is very watchable, and I think there’s a lot to say and think about. For better or worse the Snyder cut is a genuinely interesting 4 hour watching experience.

Batman

Snyder Cut ending explained: Justice League epilogue's cameos and dangling  plot threads - CNET

I mean Batfleck looks slightly less bored in this one so that’s an improvement. I don’t know Batman is such as nothing character in this, that of course people have to go and jump on such shallow aspects of the character to validate him as the “best”. I mean all Bats got working for him is that he wants to assemble a team because he feels guilty about kind of killing Zack Synder’s favorite, I mean Earth’s greatest (and coolest) superhero Superman.

Let’s see, for starters, Bruce Wayne is just full on allergic to keeping any sort of secret identity. Are we supposed to shocked that Lex Luthor figures it out. I mean he recruits all the heroes as Bruce Wayne which sure is inconspicuous but why does he trust people he’s never meet before. I know “for the sake of the plot” and “complete 180 because of superman mistake” are reasonable enough but, he does realize that not everyone who has superpower is a good guy right?

I’m a be real, Aquaman looks and acts like the poster boy for toxic masculinity. I don’t know if he’s someone I would trust immediately. C’mon K he helped bring fishies to the hungry townspeople, but I’m not wrong because he immediately starts calling him bat dude, pretty loudly in front of everyone. I wish we would have gotten a little bit of how the Telltale games were when it gives you a choice to show up as either Bruce or the Batman. I think it would have been clever Bruce being able to maybe figure out what situation is best for each identity to tackle and persuade. The other heroes. Aquaman probably needs to be talked to man to man while the Flash would probably be wooed by the Batman. Of course, we can’t have that because Zack Snyder is a cool shot first, characters second kind of director.

Toxic Masculinity – The Dispatch
I mean do these not describe Aquaman to a tee. I know someone is gonna get angry about the use of buzzword but I don’t care that he’s masculine. I care that Batman one of the least trusting characters in fiction is instantly cool with him. Credit: Sumin Kim The Dispatch

I mean I don’t read the comics, but there is one moment where Batman under the influence of Wonder Woman’s lasso confesses his identity is “Batman”. I think that was a cool moment where you can really interpret either how Bruce has the mental fortitude to loophole the lasso or how he perceives the Batman as maybe an even more “true” identity than Bruce.  However, I guess if you want to make Batman badass all you need for him is to say “fuck”.

I mean Batman just seems so out of his element facing galactic terror and superbeings. It’s funny that anyone listens to him given the movie makes it clear that every single member of the league would kick his ass easily. Batman is mostly relegated to minion duty and it’s kind of sad seeing him unable to really do anything. Batman’s utility belt does seem lacking, outside of the grappling hook, and maybe one explosive his artillery doesn’t appear in combat but instead he just has to hijack the bug guns.

I don’t know I’m sure that Batman being a brooding dumb jock is satisfying for a lot of people as long as he looks cool but I just feel the complex intellect of the world’s greatest detective is disappointingly lost. I mean I wish he could of schemed something a little bit more clever than a plan devised by Patrick fucking star.

Don’t worry guys, I will take the bug creatures and move them over there. Problem solved.

I’m glad that Batman being the most established character doesn’t get a lot of focus, but I do think he’s pretty weak and underwhelming.

Wonder Woman

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say….. The Wonder Woman theme is so overused that it’s riding on the line of parody. Awesome theme don’t get me wrong it’s completely badass, it fits the character, and it is a musical composition they should be proud of. I just, am I wrong in saying that it’s a little ridiculous that it plays literally every action scene Wonder Woman is in, across every movie. It takes me out of the action because all I can think is “haha, WW theme”. [I’m talking the Wonder Woman theme. That Yoko Ono Amazonian theme is also, even worse and so very intrusive]

Maybe you think I’m a downer, but I actually really liked the portrayal of Wonder Woman here. I do like her naturally proving to be the most experienced in combat and being both the best fighter and leader when it comes to battle tactics. I actually don’t have much to complain about Wonder Woman. I think the bank heist scene is utterly pointless, so that’s why in a version of this were it isn’t 4 hours it got left on the cutting room floor.

I do like Wonder Woman being the voice of you too can be a hero. Remember kids, work hard and do the right thing you to can be molded by clay and be the daughter of Zeus. Also Wonder Woman looks kind of derpy blocking all the bullets… also the villain completely goes into sniper viewpoint and there was nothing stopping the police from shooting him immediately.

The most interesting thing about Wonder Woman is that she dies in the alternative timeline. Also that she murdered Stephenwolf. Honestly, why isn’t Snyder just doing the Injustice universe. That’s obviously the kind of jaded, cynical, dark, and gloomy story he wants to do, it’s perfect for him. I mean Stephenwolf could and should die, but there’s someone who obviously should be the one to kill him.

Darkseid

Darkseid's Powers In The Justice League Snyder Cut Explained

Darkseid is absolutely pathetic and maybe he wasn’t in the theatrical cut because, Snyder makes him look like at total bitch.  I mean Darkseid and Thanos are such comparable characters that it’s hard not to reference how they are portrayed in their movies. I almost think of it like WWE, how do we hype up matches, how do we sell someone as a dominate force. Thanos in his first fight, had a beatdown of the Hulk with only 1 infinity stone. That really set the stage of him being an opposing threat that nobody in brute force compares to him on the Avengers. Through Infinity War they have a nice easy escalation as he gets more stones, that he’s too much for a team like the Guardians of the Galaxy and eventually he has enough abilities to match Dr. Strange and Wanda. They make a huge deal that Iron Man pulling out of the stops, can only put a measly scratch on him.

Now let’s look at Darkseid in his first fight.

  • Loses immediately.
  • Loses to a nobody. (twitter tells me that it was Ares, sorry I didn’t see WW)
  • Bleeding out, gasping for air, looks weak.
  • Has no cool abilities, or fighting style.

So after seeing this, Darkseid would get completely sonned by Superman. Superman would give him a wedgie and he run crying to his mommy. That’s not how you hype up a villain, especially one that is supposed to require multiple heroes to overcome. I mean people will give the he was young excuse but that’s pretty weak. I mean Ares also had a lot of time to grow before he gets defeated by Wonder Woman, who also has had decades to improve as a fighter. Also Darkseid just forgot where the Anti-Life Equation so not only is he weak he’s also stupid. Not a good look.

Deathstroke

Joe Manganiello says Deathstroke return after Justice League still in the  works | EW.com

I mean this epilogue scene hasn’t really changed but, can we agree that Deathstroke looks like a cosplayer. I mean Deathstroke is one of my favorite villains, so maybe I am supposed to just cream my jimmy at the mere idea of him being a movie villain. He doesn’t look cool here. I don’t know, I do tend to enjoy faithful adaptation and actual costume over CG but this just isn’t it for me. He looks too much like he belongs at Comic Con and that’s not the deadly mercenary I know.

The Flash

Super Fast GIF - TheFlash JusticeLeague JusticeLeagueMovie - Discover &  Share GIFs

He’s a snack hole. I was never a fan of Ezra Miller. As the flash? Sure. I mean I don’t know about his fan chocking incident or his sense of fashion.  I mean it’s always bothered me just how much his character can be summed up as “Tom Holland’s Spider-Man with Autism”. I mean sure would be cool but apparently that is just to subjected to head cannon right now or until a director wants to retroactively be accused of poor direction.

I’ll said it before, and I’ll say it again; Hack Snyder is the best at coming up with cool visuals for the sake of cool visuals. The flash does the slow-motion speed thing, literally every movie has done and not only is that effect tired it raises some questions. Like if Barry Allen can shatter glass by touching it, wouldn’t he just be decimating people by touching them. Like when he saved Iris, wouldn’t he instantly be stopping her momentum, turning her into slush.

I don’t know the DC fanboy motto is, “shut up, you’re just too stupid to appreciate it” so sorry for thinking. The flash actually does have a lot of cool moments in this scene and while I’m still not a huge fan with his characterization how they use him is really neat. I like since the flash is new to hero work, he both seems hesitant to engage in combat as well as showing a decent amount of pain. It was interesting to see the flash sort of vulnerable, giving him a reasonable weakness among the Gods among him. He’s hard to hit, but when he does, he takes a while to walk it off.

We need more selling in the DC, nobody seems to be in pain ever. Only the flash and Darkseid. Even Cyborg’s dad get’s disintegrated slowly and doesn’t even react in any sort of agony. The Flash ultimately is able to rewind a few seconds which is a little weird and cheapens tension, but it seemed to only be a couple seconds off. It seemed like a very comic book thing to happen. Honestly, that’s kind of where I think DC and Marvel differ the most right now. Marvel is taking comic book characters and converting it into a massive film franchise. DC is pretty much just filming comic book stories more faithful to what comic book stories are.

Overall, the most questionable aspect of the Flash is that his sort of stupid not funny jokes are still here. Certainly, it isn’t as prevalent in this cut as the former but the blame of all the bad humor was on Joss Whedon is not necessarily true.

Cyborg

Cyborg GIF - Cyborg Fight JusticeLeague - Discover & Share GIFs | Cyborg  justice league, Cyborg, Ray fisher

When I initially understood the basic framework of the story, they were telling I came to the conclusion that for it to really work, this has to be Cyborg’s story. Honestly, maybe it’s just growing up with Cyborg as a Teen Titan but if Justice League does really have to sell me on Cyborg being of a high enough caliber to hang with the rest of his team.

They do that and Cyborg gets a complete backstory, stake, and is honestly the MVP of the film. I can see where Ray Fisher’s frustration came with the theatrical cut as he is greatly downplayed. Infusing Cyborg with the mother box was a good way to present Cyborg as being powerful and way more than a smart robot guy.

I like the relationship he has with his parents and how that is arguably the bigger inner turmoil he has than the actual “freak” complex. His dad eventually even trusts him and sacrifices himself for the greater of humanity… I guess. It was a gruesome death but… he didn’t have to go in the laser box, he could have turned it on from the outside? Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Steppenwolf to kill him, I guess not Cyborg’s dad just felt like dying.

His CGI suit looks really rough, a lot of the time, he’s tough to look at but outside of that he really is the heart of the film and it never feels that he’s too much in centerstage compared to others.

Steppenwolf

Zack Snyder's Justice League: New Clip has Steppenwolf Fighting the Amazons  | Geekfeed

He’s pointy, and he has a little derpy face. Steppenwolf is improved in that they actually gave him some motive this time but it’s really shallow. Steppenwolf is essential just the first Guardian of the Galaxy villain. He knows the big bad but they’re not on good terms right now. The only thing about Steppenwolf is that he actually comes across as tougher or more threatening than Darkseid.

Until he gets absolutely bodied in the finale fight. Superman aka Hack Snyder’s favorite is just outclassing him and could easily solo him which, good for him. All Steppenwolf needs to be is intimidating and have decent fight choreography and his fights are… there. I think the problem is one that I saw in a video that said the probably with air fights like in Shazam is that they lack weight behind every hit. That also is very present in throughout the Justice League. Everyone feels invincible, super light, and doesn’t really take any substantial damage.

Thinking in Smash terms, everyone appears as light as Jigglypuff, but slaps like Bowser. So everyone is just pin ponging each other across the room and eventually somebody just gets tired and lays down on the ground for a while. The philosophy is maximizing how cool it looks, and not really care about making it necessarily engaging, or impactful on the viewer.

The Joker

Jared Leto returns and, yeah people are blowing this out of proportion. I mean are we really going to say that just because Leto’s Joker went 3 minutes without coming across as a completely spastic seagull that he’s the best Joker ever put to screen. Let’s be real it is a vast improvement then the last time we saw Leto play this character but improving from a complete and utter embarrassment is still only mildly intriguing.

The scene is decently captivating, as the Joker actually does seem like the joking prick that he is supposed to be, pushing buttons, and chewing the scenery in an intentional way to be center stage. The Joker obsession is kind of weird to me. Like you legitimately appreciate a depiction of a true anarchist that feels society has destructive tendencies, that maybe seeing someone trying to watch the world burn can be somewhat cathartic. I think there is a place for irredeemable characters besides condemning them, but the Joker is starting to feel like Jeff the Killer for 30-year-olds.

Leto and Affleck did seem to have some chemistry so I do believe that they could make for decent on-screen adversaries now.

Martian Manhunter

Talk about a butt ugly Martian am I right. His design is just gross looking, and he doesn’t look great. He always looks poorly lit, it’s just awful. I do think it’s a neat idea how he is kind of orchestrating things behind the scenes. Obviously, he manipulates Lois into going outside so she can reunite with Superman. His introduction was really strange, it sort of just happened and they staged a whole pointless scene that tried to be emotional and then they just undercut it with an alien coming out of nowhere.

I think it’s cool that a reveal isn’t necessarily relegated to end credit scenes. I think that is one dig on Marvel, that it is becoming sort of a slave to the formula, so any reveals or twists are really relegated to an after-credit scene. Marvel kind of has the perfect character now in Deadpool, like please just throw him unexpectedly into a random movie for like a scene. I swear, people would lose their minds, and he makes sense as a cameo only character.

The Future of the DCEU

So, the DCEU is alive and well again, maybe who knows. Am I more or less interested in the future of these movies after seeing this, no. I mean sure it proved that it had somewhat of a roadmap and I will have a soft spot for the DC heroes but I think it’s time move on. I think it was doomed from the start. The thing about the MCU is that it is the most standard thing that many directors have been able to come in and replicate the tone, mood, and overall presentation.

Zack Snyder came in with his vision and doesn’t care much for the cohesiveness of the entire universe. I think most of the actors have moved on, and the studio wants to focus on one offs which are seeming to fare better.

Final verdict on the Snyder cut is that it isn’t the best thing to happen to cinema. Yet it was a more pleasant version of the Justice League. I kind of dismissed the Snyder cut for being unable to change poor writing, questionable casting, and just over-indulgent directing. It’s cool and I think it is an extremely great example of the impact studios, and producers, and directors can change things. Especially editing even though this version is not to keen on editing anything out.

I mean maybe I am too dumb for this Superhero flick. What did you think, let me know. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next time but in Black and White.

6 thoughts on “Even My Review of The Snyder Cut is Too Long – Justice League 2021

  1. So I lost interest in the DCEU after Batman v. Superman. (A movie that I have few feelings about either way.) The Justice League heroes are, mostly pretty boring, and DC heroes don’t start to get interesting until you get to the C-list heroes. I’m not sure what they could have done to make me interested, but this definitely wasn’t it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I do think the Snyder Cut is A LOT better than the original, which I absolutely hated. It fixes a lot of issues like everyone hyping it says it does, the consensus seems to be that it is an okay-ish flick. With lots of the faults still there. There is only one problem! WHY THE HECK DID I SPEND 4+ HOURS watching something Okay”ish”
    I watch a lot of bad stuff.. but that’s entertaining in it’s own way.. this is just there! In that Limbo where I do not really find it worth my time! So as PRODUCT.. I am not a big fan…. however.

    I LOVE that this is possible now! It’s very existence is something very important! If a director has an amazing idea, no longer does it need to be cut down/catered to mass audiences. By having streaming platforms pick up a directors vision, there is a possibility we get more daring projects, more out of the box flicks! They may not appear in Cinema, because they are too long or to quirky, but with a plehtora of streaming platforms.. content that clearly is better than what it would be before “Hollywood” morphed it into a mass product can appear.
    The Snyder Cut to me is a Tech Demo.. of what things could be for “direct to stream” flicks.
    I see a platform that can exist outside the confines of what we now call movies.

    I don’t think Snyder Cut is particularly worth the 4 hours, and I am still annoyed they gave Barry Allan blue lightning and Ezra Miller isn’t as good of a Flash as the show’s counterpart so it’s an odd choice. Mamoa as Aquaman is also weird. Aquaman isn’t even aquaman and this movie doesn’t really do anything to fix it.. even makes him look more like a 90’s action hero. But at least this is a cohesive story.. just fairly dated. Where Avengers felt like a great adapation with hype around it.. this one isn’t bad.. but a typical case of just read the comics. But I hope it can be more for a healthier Hollywood!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree it’s an improvement from the last cut, it can be a lot of nothing but it is an interesting beast with it be a highly interesting development in streaming, creative control over flicks, and storytelling in general. Aquaman is just an overcompensation of him being a joke that he’s both a completely different character and a joke in its own right. Yeah still not a big fan of Ezra Miller, but the Flash character does have some moments in this one. I am interested in what effect this has, hope it helps directors get more creative control, or less studio interference or even more streaming director’s cuts, and not the part of fandoms harassing everyone under the sun thinking they can bitch a movie into existence which will probably happen now too. But we can hope not.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Interesting review. I haven’t seen all of the original movie, but I heard it wasn’t so great. I’m very disappointed how they severely downplayed Darkseid especially since he’s one of the more powerful DC villains out there. It was also frustrating hearing accusations about Darkseid ripping off Thanos even though the leader of Apokalips existed first in the comics. While I’m no Zack Snyder fan, it is cool how there are things better than the original and good on him for giving Cyborg a bigger purpose even though I always thought of him more of a Teen Titans guy than a Justice League character.

    Liked by 1 person

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