I Fixed Sonic the Hedgehog… What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Just what an ugly mug. There’s no beating around the bush, Sonic is ugly. I’m sorry society is so shallow that we have to judge this real gangsta by the artificial nature of his looks. Do you think Sonic asked to be this ugly, like he went up to the CGI animators like it was a barbershop and was like “yo, fuck my shit up fam”. I’m sick of all you shallow Hals out there thinking Sonic is defined by his shaved arms or weird eye deformity. Why don’t we do what’s right and define Sonic by what matters and that’s who he is under the fur-suit…fur. FUR. Actually, they should call this movie Sonic Generations because this sonic looks like the byproduct of generations worth of “those weird internet pictures” in the gene pool. I would never be so rude to judge sonic based on his outward appearance but also when the poster was lit like that Game of Thrones episode they might have been on to something.

Image result for sonic movie poster

A Need for a make-over

Apparently cyber-bulling is still alive and well because the sour reaction to our sweet angel Quasimodo sonic is for him to GET A MAKE-OVER!!! I feel really bad for the animators who honestly just did what they were told and now have to do it again. Realistically I think they should push the release date which might not be an option but in rare instances it does happen like with the highly critically acclaimed Nutcracker and the 4 or Maybe There Was 5 Realms I Don’t Know Nobody Saw it (Long title). I do have a sneaking suspicion that with the egg-man tease at the end of the trailer which featured Jim Carey in a more traditional Dr. Robotnik design that they do have another model of sonic for a portion of the movie that also looks more like sonic when they are in the sonic world opposed to the human world. However, that is both just gross speculation and two I mean that not to say that it would be easy to switch them out (just because you have the blueprints doesn’t mean you can build a building in a day) but as the reason they’d even do something like this at all. I actually applaud that they’re man enough to own up to their mistakes and while I think it’s a little bit late, revisions are part of the process of any creative endeavor so good for them for putting some effort on that front.

Let’s give him a make-over

Honestly, there have been a lot of talented artists who have gone in and made some nice edits of returning sonic to a more recognizable state. View some of them here. While great guys these are all way too optimistic, at this point I’d only expect some minor changes to take place. Who better to redesign Sonic that a complete amateur and an idiot if you’ve made it this far and I haven’t gotten that across yet. However, I did fix She-Ra before and while the took zero of my suggestions… they are very welcome. So how would I fix Sonic the Hedgehog.

i turned him into bubsy

What Could Possibly Go Wrong!

Why… because Bubsy deserves to be ugly. I honestly think this is a match made in heaven; if you wanted to make so cheap knockoff “fake hedgehog” you might as well commit to it. Also, Bubsy’s catchphrase “What Could Possibly Go Wrong!” is probable hanging someplace within Paramount Studios.

This edit had so much promise when I started with the eye color and then it all went downhill from there. When I give him the shirt he kind of reminds me of the Car Fax Car Fox but it also makes me question where Sonic’s neckline is and how does he support that big head of his on his tiny human proportioned body. I mean honestly, if this was the trailer for a Bubsy movie nobody would care but I think people would accept it like, “ha, classic Bubsy”.

Thanks Paramount I’ll take my check in the mail.

What do you think of the super epic Sonic movie: love it, hate it, what could possibly go wrong? Thanks for reading hope you had fun reading it; despite the embarrassment of my editing skills I had fun making this one. Thanks for stopping by and as always I will see you at the Movies!


Images used from Sonic the Hedgehog [credit: Paramount Pictures]

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7 thoughts on “I Fixed Sonic the Hedgehog… What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

  1. Everything went wrong when I had the “bright” idea to play and review three games from the Bubsy series. Sonic’s look is indeed quite bizarre; it makes me question if the live-action route was ever viable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry it sounds like I made you re-live some traumatic experience bringing up Bubsy unexpectedly. I read one of those reviews and I applaud your detailed description. As for Sonic live action, I don’t think its the best idea but I think if you really get the appeal and what’s in the roots of the franchise and can carry that over you can really surprise some people but I do’t see it happening in this case.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, an instant classic. I’ve heard the Mario Bros. movie comparison but I think it looks like they watched the live-action Rocky and Bullwinkle movie and said “we, should make that!” For better or worse I don’t think Sonic will be boring so It might have that going for it.

      Like

      1. I never thought of Rocky & Bullwinkle. I guess Sonic can also hangout with the live action Yogi Bear, the 2002 Scooby Doo and the 2014 TMNT. I have doubt Sonic will not disappoint.

        Liked by 1 person

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