Wish Upon (2017) sucks. It’s obviously uninspired and brutal to sit through. If you like cheap horror semantics, formula plots/cinematography/editing, and overall blandness then go knock yourself out. Yet, this movie lives in this bizarre world of completely not understanding youth culture… or I think just humans in general. It is one of the most atrocious scripts every to be as heavily advertised as this film was. This film is so strange it speaks for itself, so here are my Top 10 quotes,ten screenwriting cardinal sins, that out of context just to display the complete oddity that this film is.

10.

Clare: Do you think I’m like her [Mom who committed suicide]?

Clare’s Dad: Course you are.

Clare:(Gasp)

Clare’s Dad: No no not like that.

Just Jeez, try to have a sentimental moment but the movie stumbles it with this awkward delivery. It only gets worse from here.

9.

Mrs. Deluca: You need a nice boy. [Pause] Or a nice girl.

Again just awkward. The movie has to take a moment to reach out to it’s audience and be like “hey, we ain’t judging. You do you” was someone really going to be deeply offended if the fictional neighbor lady said you should get a boyfriend. Probably but still this was oddly thrown in there.

8.

Regina George throws an ice coffee at Grace. Grace’s friend June comes to her defense.

June: Seriously bird-ass!?!

Regina George: Recycle first.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7.

Ryan: Totally didn’t see your dad digging through the trash at all.

6.

June: I think you’re a selfish bowl of bitch-sauce.

5.

Ryan: You farted and you blamed it on me. And everyone called me McFarts.

4.

Barb from Stranger Things: Your dad is like…serious hot sauce. Like, Sriracha hot.

3.

June: Drop her like a red-headed baby fresh out the vagina!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Don’t ask me, I have no idea.

2.

Ryan: Hold up, you dig on multiverses?

1.

Clare: Yeah, this is great. Um… Smegma. It’s a noun. [clears throat]

A malodorous, opaque, white or yellow substance produced by the sebaceous glands of male and female genitalia. It’s found beneath the foreskin and glands of the penis in males, and in the folds of skin surrounding the clitoris in females.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Conclusion

Who came up with this!?! The screenplay for this movie is an utter abomination. I understand that writing teen dialogue is difficult because either you horribly date your movie saying things like “groovy” or “radical” or you make complete nonsense trying to make your own hip slang. This is no ordinary nonsense but advanced nonsense. I hope these where 10 examples of what absolutely not to put in your screenplay. What did you all think, which one is the worse bit of dialogue. Did you actually disagree with me and though the movie was amazing and had a great screenplay. Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll see you at the movies.

 

Image result for Wish upon movie
Movie Poster for Wish Upon Credit: Orion Pictures

 

 

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